Self-Care Is a Scam: A therapist's thoughts on what you really need

Traditional self-care isn’t enough—especially for Black women carrying so much. In this video, therapist Esther Boykin explores why devotion, softness, and community care matter more than checklists. Part of the Devoted series on rest, joy, and healing.

We’ve been sold a version of self-care that’s cute and curated—but not actually effective at curing what ails us most. What if what we really need isn’t another magnesium bath or fitness app but a new way of being in the world and with ourselves?

In this video, I break down why self-care as we know it falls short, especially for Black women, and what devotion, community, and mindfulness can offer us instead. If you’ve been doing “all the right things” and still feel burnt out, this message is for you.

You deserve care designed to help you flourish and thrive.

If you are a Black woman feeling the shortcomings of self-care, join the next Compassion Collective Retreat in Tulum- Apply Here -

Looking for one-on-one support? Book a Coffee & Clarity coaching session here.